Archive | May, 2012

It’s not them. It’s you.

27 May

Image

It’s easy to assume by someone’s relationship or employment status that she is deeply satisfied with her life. Smiling faces and far off places can do a number on one’s own self-esteem. It also doesn’t help that people smile in 90% of photos (the ones not taken in front of a mirror), just supplementing your own theory that everyone is on their correct life path but you.

Facebook: Filling your newsfeed with stories of smiley, annoying happiness since 2006.

Yes, there are a lot of happy people out there but there are also a lot of people who feel just like you. Sometimes alone. Sometimes misunderstood. Always a little bit unsatisfied.

It is hard to look at wedding photos of a devastatingly gorgeous couple. It’s hard to watch people two years younger than you earn a higher degree and get promoted before you have moved out of your parents’ house. It’s definitely not easy to find out in your newsfeed that the boy you rejected in high school finally grew into his ears and became a model.

Here’s the thing: life isn’t easy. For anyone.

So stop it. Stop beating yourself up about the adorable children with their adorable parents who you went to high school with. Or the constant status updates from a foreign country you’ve never been to.

Stop comparing yourself to other people who are probably as secretly unsatisfied as you are. Focus on your own happiness. How you can become more satisfied with your current life status without using the success of people you hardly know as a measuring stick?

You can’t tell how full and meaningful someone’s life is by looking at a profile page on Facebook. Even if they have a cute puppy. And a beautiful child. And a husband with a trust fund who works in non-profit just to keep busy.

We have enough people in our lives making us doubt our own awesomeness. We don’t need Facebook to carry the point home.

So STOP IT.

You never know, that disgustingly fit stay-at-home mom might just be jealous of you…

Advertisements

[Online] Dating is messy.

21 May

Last year, upon the behest of a few of my friends, I reluctantly created an online dating profile.

At first, the newness of it all was very exciting. Since I hadn’t been dating in the last few decades years, the sudden influx of male attention was exhilerating. I was getting messages everyday from male suiters complimenting me on my eyes, my smile and my “extremely broad taste in film and tv.”

But after a while, the shine wore off. I wasn’t interested in any of the men who were contacting me. The messages, no matter how kind, began to feel empty and meaningless. So I broke up with online dating. Between you and me, I think it was mutual.

But before I deactivated my profile, I made sure to save only the BEST interactions I had with some seriously less-than-stellar matches.

***********************************************************************************************

This gentleman had initiated contact at 10:30 am on a Friday. When I didn’t respond within 45 minutes, he felt the need to follow up with: “No reply :(”

After I failed to respond in less than 30 minutes, I received this message:

He totally didn’t care.

After that interaction, I became decidedly less nice in my future conversations. Take this one for example.

Please take note that neither of these gentlemen currently have open accounts. I’m guessing it’s because they are too busy being in successful relationships.

***********************************************************************************************

And that’s when I decided that online dating may not be for me.

A

Unwritten

17 May

If your current or future romance could be written by a musician, who would you want to write yours?

I think I would want

a little Norah Jones’ “Come Away With Me,”

a touch of Fun.’s “The Gambler,”

a splash of Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Just Like a Star,”

a dollup of Etta James “At Last,”

and a whole lot of Hall & Oats’ “You Make My Dreams.”

For obvious reasons, Adele and Gotye are not invited to write my future romance.

Dancing With Myself

16 May

Last weekend I went to see Tainted Love play at Harlow’s with some friends from college who were in town for the weekend. Although I was part of the generation that gave rebirth to the ’80s, I was never very interested in the decade. Too many unflattering colors, shapes and hairstyles, in my opinion.

Regardless, I attended in full-blown ’80s get-up. Tutu, leggings and enough pearls to give me a backache.  While not everyone was dressed up, those who did were rewarded with drinks and compliments. Unfotunately, I was only rewarded with the latter. But it didn’t matter because I had never felt more badass in my life (while wearing a tutu).

We rocked out to all the ’80s favorites. Jessie’s Girl. Pour Some Sugar On Me. Livin’ On a Prayer. Billie Jean. Don’t You Want We. Don’t Stop Believing. Dancing With Myself. You really can’t NOT scream sing and dance to those songs. Especially if you are wearing a tutu.

At one point in the show, I got separated from the rest of my friends.  I was literally dancing with myself while Dancing With Myself was playing. And I didn’t care. Maybe in the past, I would have felt uncomfortable, but not that night. That sweaty, neon night.

And never ever before that night had the lyrics been more true.

Oh dancing with myself
Well there’s nothing to lose
And there’s nothing to prove
I’ll be dancing with myself

Nothing to lose. Nothing to prove. Because sometimes YOU are your best dance partner.

A

Image

Glutton for Good News

14 May

Glutton for Good News

While not recommended, eating multiple fortune cookies is a delicious great way to receive good news.

Well this seems legitimate.

10 May

I replied to an ad for a personal assistant position listed on Indeed.com that seemed to be potentially legitimate. The guy could have been a total a-hole, but I was going to wait to pass judgment until I got a phone call or in-person meeting.

Here is the ad:

Image

I sent a very nice email highlighting my job experience and professional ethics. In response, I received this:

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would be very interested in offering you a part-time paying job in which you could earn some reasonable money.
My name is john smith and I am 52 years of age. I just resigned my job as a research scientist for ARINI(Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland) and I now work as a freelance consultant for the institute which gives me very much time to do my own work which is basically being a freelance researcher who could be employed by research institutes to do research projects anywhere in the world.
Currently, I have just been granted a funding to head a research project in the tropical regions of Asia regarding rare and vulnerable plant species and this would be commencing very soon.

This research program will be funded and sponsored by some of my American counterparts and Associates. But the only set back is that the American counterparts want to make payments for the research in form of US money orders/ cashier’s checks only and its a known fact that money in such forms cannot be cashed outside the US. Getting an accountant in the states or opening an account would have been my best choice but I have a deadline to meet and taking any of those choices would cost me time and a whole lot of other requirements which I am not ready to deal with.

This is where I need to employ your assistance and service.

WHAT I NEED YOU FOR?

At this point, I will be glad if you could work with me as my representative in the US. You will be working as my payment assistant in charge of collecting and processing the payments from my Associates. Since they will be making the payment in Money orders/ Cashier checks made payable only in the US, you will be collecting this payments and cashing them on my behalf. On agreement that you are my representative in the US, you will receive a commission of 10% of whatever amount of payment you receive from my associates.

JOB DESCRIPTION?

1. Receive payments (in form of money orders/checks) from my associates via mail by regular courier services.
2. Cash the Payments at your Bank.
3. Deduct 10% which will be your commission/percentage on Payment processed.
4. You are to remit the balance via Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer according to my instruction.

HOW MUCH WILL YOU EARN?

10% from each transaction! For instance: On receiving 6000 US Dollars via checks or money orders on my behalf. You will cash the payment and keep 10% to yourself before remitting the balance!

At the beginning your commission will equal 10%, though later it will increase up to 12%! For the research, I am expecting about the sum of $105,000 in total from the clients (though the money will be sent in installments due to the progress of my research). You could make over $10,500 for the short period of time we will be working together.

ADVANTAGES?
You do not have to go out of your present daily activity in order to engage in this Job (i.e. you can do this Work easily without leaving or affecting your present Job).You will work as an independent contractor right from your home /office. Your job is absolutely legal. You do not need any capital to start (non of your personal funds is needed).

–REQUIREMENTS?

18 years or older.
Legally capable.
Responsible, Reliable and Trustworthy.
Ready to work 3-4 hours per week.
Able to check and respond to emails often.
Easy telephone access.

IS THIS LEGAL?
Yes it is. As a matter of fact, my lawyer checked all legal provisions to know if there is any domestic or international laws against businesses or deals in this manner. And he said its allowed by all LAWS. So know that doing this work is safe and legitimate.

I hope all is well understood. I would be glad if you accept my proposal and I intend to commence as soon as you are ready.
Please, to facilitate the conclusion of this transaction if accepted, do send promptly by email the following details below, to indicate your interest.

NAME:
ADDRESS ( not p.o box):
CITY:
STATE:
ZIPE CODE:
OCCUPATION;
CELL PHONE NUMBER:
LAND PHONE NUMBER
AGE:
SEX:

Sincerely,

Dr john smith

___________________________________________________________________________________

There are a few things to address about this email.

1. I sent my application to an email with “John Wilson” in the address. I received a response from a “Dr john smith” who is neither fond of capitalization nor punctuation. If you are two people at once, you are probably NOT LEGITIMATE.

2. In the ad, the job required 25 hours per week. The responding email requires only 3-4. NOT LEGIT.

3. Contrary to the job posting, which preferred I have clerical experience and computing skills, this merely requires me to be a full-grown human. It also required that I be “trustworthy” i.e. not a snitch. ILLEGITIMATE.

4. Dr. Smith has had his lawyers look over the legal implications of all of this and says it’s A-OK. Probably, if you need to address the legality of a job you are offering in a simple job description, chances are YOU ARE NOT LEGITIMATE.

5. The “Doctor” is currently a “freelance consultant.” That is code for “MONEY LAUNDERER.”

6. Oh, I’m just going to be cashing a few checks and then taking a little off the top for my troubles? WELL THAT’S JUST NOT LEGITIMATE.

7. “You are to remit the balance via Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer according to my instruction.” According to my instruction? That sounds ominous. NOPE.

So the job hunt continues.

Free is my favorite price.

10 May

Image

This past week I went to a concert at a local Sacramento venue, Ace of Spades. It was dubbed “No Dough Show” because the entrance was FREE and showcased The Cosmonauts, WRINGS and Imagine Dragons.

The only band I had even heard of before was WRINGS because I know someone in the band and consequently, have been to a few of their shows. I knew I would at least enjoy them, but I was pleasantly surprised with the other performances.  Imagine Dragons has a successful single “It’s Time” which I was  impressed with, as well as a most of the other songs they played. The Cosmonauts were fun to watch as they were dressed entirely in superhero costumes. It was a LOT of spandex.

Overall, I hope to see many more of these No Dough Shows in Sacramento– free is ALWAYS my favorite price.